Entries for February, 2009
I really appreciate the message.. Ate charry, I'm really happy that I met you. Super touched talaga ako.. as in! Napaiyak ako ha.. I never thought that you'll spend a time to create an entry for me.. =( But thanks anyway.. It's true that moving on is the harding thing to do.. but I'm doing it right now. Mahirap.. magulo.. masakit.. pagod na ako.. pero dapat kong gawin kasi kailangan.
Let me also take this opportunity to give my super appreciation ko kay Sir Ron.. "Sir ron, tatandaan ko lahat ng mga advices mo. You really touched my life and inspired me to do things better.. hindi lang sa work.. pati sa personal kong buhay. Thank you for the concern, the feedback and everything! Hindi man halata pero I really appreciate all the things you have said to me. It will always help me and mold me to become a matured person."
Maraming Salamat!
*********
Time will come at masasabi ko na I'm over it and I can laugh about it na parang walang nangyari.
Someday.. someday.
{ music } What Hurts The Most By Rascal Flats
{ book } New Moon (pa din! haha.)
{ mood } loved
Posted by kidbaliw under what I'm feeling
...everyday i sit here waiting
everyday just seems so long
and now i've had enough of all the hating
do we even care? its so unfair..
...any day it will all be over
everyday there's nothing new
and now i just try to find some hope
to try and hold onto
but it starts again
it will never end..
im heavily broken
and i don't know what to do
can't you see that im choking
and i can't even move
when there's nothing left to say
what can i do?
im heavily broken
and there's nothing i can do...
...almost giving up on trying
almost heading for a fall
and now my mind is screaming out
i've gotta keep on fighting
but then again
it doesn't end.......
feels like im drowning
im screaming for air
louder im crying
and you don't even care..
{ music } go on girl by neyo
{ mood } rejected
Posted by kidbaliw under what I'm feeling
I'm tired.. Ayoko na. Bakit ganun ka? This pain.. is really unbearable.. it's too much. As in. I wanted to run away.. far from this hell I'm in. I have feelings too.. nasasaktan din ako. I just can't decipher why you're doing this.. you're mean.. heartless.. you don't really care with what I feel.
you don't.. I'm also like any other girls out there who has a fragile heart.. why?!
Stupid me. Damn it!
{ music } bleeding love by leona lewis | If I were a boy by Beyonce & R. Kelly (remix)
{ book } eclipse by Stephenie Meyer
{ mood } depressed
Posted by kidbaliw under what I'm feeling
Everyday is a struggle for me to live as if nothing happened. Waking up, getting dress for work and living with this huge hole needs a lot of weird skill for me to deal with it. The moment I enter the office, I should forget whatever I'm feeling personally. I hate pretending but this time? It's a MUST.
Writing this blog right now is kinda hard for me because I decided to be silent. My parents don't mind like what I do every night just to divert whatever I'm feeling right now. Even if my dad had caught my vices, he didn't reprimand or punish me for all the shits I'm in right now. He just let me do whatever I want.. No questions ask.
I let go because I believe that it is the way it should be. I don't want to destroy things the way they are right now. The iron is too hot for me to handle and it burned me a lot of times. The way things turn out? I respect the decision made. Even if I disagree or react violently? It's too late. Things will never be the same.
The moment I knew all the truth, it's like a knife had stabbed my heart BIG TIME. I've never felt this hurt, betrayal and confusion in my life. I remembered a friend of mine told me before that love get's harder to deal as we grow older.. Getting more complicated as we reach the next level. I hate complications yet I always find myself getting involve in any complications you can think of. I never learned from all the shits I've done. Whenever there's a competition? I don't compete.. I let them decide whatever that will make them happy even if I'm not part of their happiness. In the end, I always end up as their meantime girl.
Now I'm trying to live my life the way how it was before. I need my own space to fix my broken heart. What's even harder is seeing the things around me which remind me of things and then stab my heart at the same time.
Like what I said, whatever decision you'll make.. I'll respect it wholeheartedly. I will not bother because that's what you want. This is what I get from giving my heart out and I was taken for granted. I'm hell yeah stupid.. I know. I'm also a girl..
I may be weak right now but I know one of these days, I'll have the courage to look in your eyes and I will not feel the urge to be with you again.
{ music } realize by colbie caillat
{ book } eclipse by stephenie meyer
{ mood } confused
Posted by kidbaliw under what I'm feeling
Cornel's Teambuilding
..Seaside..
Van, Apes, Hazel, Jan, Rose, Glen, Janice, Grace at ako..
Sabit lang ako dito.. hehe. Sarap talaga kumain to unwind your mind. Sa uulitin! 
{ music } Rehab by Rihanna
{ book } Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer
{ mood } numb
Posted by kidbaliw under reel world, what I'm feeling
Accepting things was the most difficult part when a relationship ends. Truth does hurt.. hell yeah.. I know! It was so hard for me to find my strength because I was broken for weeks.
Now I can say that letting go is an easy thing to do. I may not say that I have truly move on but I'm getting there. I can't wait for someone who doesn't see my real worth. The love is still here but I won't let myself be miserable again. Why should I hold on? Do I really deserve this kind of love? No.
I can't wait forever.
I'm happy because I'm moving on from this shit. The scars will remind me of the things that I had learned from loving you.
It’s never an assurance when a guy showers you with so much love.
{ music } Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson | In my place by Coldplay
{ book } Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer
{ mood } cheerful
Posted by kidbaliw under what I'm feeling
I just wanted to repost my online buddy ed kung ano ang naging conversation namin sa blog niya sa Multiply. His post is about guys.. xempre nakarelate ang lola niyo so.. let me repost this. I just wanted to share you the certain lines that really touched me:
{ music } When the stars go blue by The Corrs & Bono
{ book } Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer
{ mood } giggly
Posted by kidbaliw under what I'm feeling
nilalaman sa utak ng isang baliw
navigate
Home
Profile
Gallery
Favorites
Friends
Friends of
Content
Links
Archives
categories
- broken inside.. bleeding
- hidden letters
- liner
- moving forward
- Nobela
- real world
- reel world
- tagtagan!
- the past
- timeline
- what I'm feeling
- workikay
content pages
communities
tag me
Create Your Badge
credits
Content © kidbaliw
Layout © Up4Grabs
Image © Stock Exchange
Pattern © Fractured Sanity
Image hosted by Photobucket
Font used is Scriptina
Site powered by Tabulas
Visit my plurk site Niceykels