Entries for January, 2009
On my way to work, ka pm ko yung friend ko. My friend's name is Pamela Lozano or Pam for short. Hindi ko naman siya super close like during my teenage years or even college years. Pero we keep in touch through YM (Yahoo Messenger) paminsan minsan.
Well I had little cute memories with her. Ang alam ko kaservice ko siya (kasi nung elementary ako, naka school bus ako) kay Mang Romy. Our route is Proj 4, 3 & Cubao. Kaming dalawa yung last na inihahatid kasi parehas kaming Cubao. Hindi ko din siya ka classmate, Pam belonged with section 2 which is Visayas (i think) tapos ako section 1 and it's Luzon noong Grade III kami.
Anyways, gaya nga ng sabi ko walang maxadong memories pero ang hindi ko malilimutan sa babaitang ito was noong naglalaro kami ng sailormoon.. Alam niyo yun? Pretending we're the sailor warriors.. Haha! Syempre ako si Sailormoon aka Bunny at siya si Sailor Venus ata. Haha! Tagal na nun kaya hindi ko na maremember kung paano namin nilalaro yun. Hehe! Ang alam ko pa yata naging ka classmate niya si Daryl Jett Celis (Yung sa Pinoy Idol?) yep kaschoolmate ko siya.
Ayun alam ko din partner in crime ko siya sa mga kalokohan na ginagawa namin kapag pauwi na kami. Anjan yung mag hahampas kami ng pamaypay ng mga Highschool students ng Juan Sumulong Highschool sa Cubao.. Hehe.
Well ang reason why I posted her here kasi natawa lang ako sa nasabi niya noong ka PM ko siya kanina via my new fone. Yeah.. May new fone na ako, it's a secondhand pero I'm diggin' the features I swear.. Thanks kay meow for recommending the phone.
Yun nga, ang sabi ni Pam:
"Oi babae, kelan ba tayo magkikita? Pag pupunta ka sa San Mateo or sa Marikina text mo ko.. (09********) Kelan ba huling bonding natin? Mga 9 years old pa yata tayo nun.. Kay Mang Romy pa. Haha. Cge maya nalang ingat sa pag pasok Mwah!"
Well uu nga naman super ilang lighyears nang nakalightyears na ang nakalipas since I had those bonding moments with Pam. She's also working in a call center kaya lang in a GY shift.
I do look forward to meet her soon. Dami sigurong mga kwentos and all that. Haha. Ikaw ba naman lightyears na ang pagitan like hello?
Here's Pam..
{ music } T-Shirt by Shontelle
{ book } New Moon by Stephenie
{ mood } jealous
Posted by kidbaliw under timeline, real world
My mind's scattered like a gazillion stars in the sky.
The way you act? It sends me something that I need to know what was the real deal. I'm trying my best here to understand and not be angry.. but the truth is? I can't. Even if I masked it out, deep inside it's bleeding. There's this mixed emotions that stings in me everytime I forget about it. It's like feeling numb but the pain inside kills you. The anxiety in me.. it's growing.
I need to know the truth and understand why.
Even if I try to tell myself not to be angry.. I am.
{ music } I caught myself by Paramore | Is it over?
{ book } New Moon by Stepenie Meyer
{ mood } jealous
Posted by kidbaliw under what I'm feeling
Naaliw ako sa father ko last night. He was busy watching something sa pc when I got home from work. May pa sway sway pa ng ulo yung dad ko while he was watching a certain video sa youtube. Sabi niya sa akin meron daw siya plaka nung artist na yun however hiniram daw ng friend ng kapatid niya tapos hindi na nabalik. Kahit na gustong gusto ko mag atantica, I just sit behind him.. watching how he enjoy life's simple pleasure.
Now I know kung kanino ako nagmana na napa hilig sa rock songs. I never knew that my father was a rocker as well.. Hindi kasi halata like more on christian and oldies love song trip niya. I was wrong.. haha!
Dapat nga video nalang ginawa ko no? Well yan pa sway sway yung ulo niya like he's really enjoying the band that he's listening.
Dahil dito bigla ko naisip na bilhan father ko ng mp3 player niya. Tapos I'll just download all his favorite songs.. Oh diba? Hmmm.. Yun nalang kaya birthday gift ko sa kanya? Yah.. Great idea. hehe.
{ music } news in GMA 7 (about black nazarene)
{ book } new moon by stephenie meyer
{ mood } sleepy
Posted by kidbaliw under real world
Dahil tamad ako magkwento ng detailed ng story sa life ko, let me share it via pictures.. It was one heck of a rollercoaster ride. Lahat ng mga nangyari sa akin in the year 2008 will always remind me that life's a bitch like me. May mga nakilala ako, nawala, kinainisan, iniyakan at kung ano ano pa. Real word was not reel after all. Well I'm saying adios to 2008 and ola to 2009.
My Life in 2008
{ music } Bring me to life by Evanescence
{ book } New Moon by Stephenie Meyer
{ show } Jayvee's YM (kulit!!)
{ mood } contemplative
Posted by kidbaliw | favorite
I woke up super aga kanina kasi nagbeep ang phone ko and it was mommy kate, reminding me of my training. Mejo naguluhan pa nga ako. Haha.
Anyway I had my training for Storefront & Email today. Ang nag train sa amin ay si Pong. Well mga kabatch ko ay sina Lemuel, Rio, Abner at Darwin. I never thought na it will be a combo training, gulat nalang ako when Pong announced that this is a training for Storefront & Email.. As in like.. Weh?!
Oh well it was fun naman. Kulitan lang kami while on training. Actually I'm really happy with what's going on with my work right now. Parang dati lang I was hoping (yeah hope talaga no?!) to be tap kasi wala lang! 
Now it's my turn and mejo scary pala xa. It's more prone sa voice of the customer at EO's.. Well paalam avail time (meaning baka wala na akong time magbasa at magsurf during my idle time... sad!!) coz it will be another twist at magpapakabusi-busyhan ako.. Haha!
I'm still learning kaya go go go lang! Gaya nga ng sabi ni Mommy Kate, I'm just following the footsteps of Kuya Ryan, Domeng at Sherwin. Yeah.. Pana panahon nga talaga. Oh well.. Goodluck nalang at I'm aware na mejo tatanga tanga pa ako sa grammar. Haha!
From Left to Right: Abner, Rio, Dar, Me & Lemuel
nice training with you guys! *winks!
*So hindi na xa premonition right now.. Syet. Haha! Galing mo meow.. haha!
{ music } Back to ou by John Mayer
{ book } New Moon by Stephenie Meyer
{ mood } loved
Posted by kidbaliw under reel world, what I'm feeling
The way how our conversation a while ago? I liked it! I mean I'm not obliging you to tell me everything in one seating... No more left, right or even u-turn.. Just straight ahead.. okey? We're a team here.. I learn so many things from you and I'm thankful coz I met you. *winks!
{ music } wonderwall by oasis | One hello by Randy Crawford
{ book } new moon by stephenie meyer
{ mood } loved
Posted by kidbaliw under real world, what I'm feeling
If this is a game..
Then I'll play it my way.
Let me remind you that I don't get mad.. I get EVEN. I may be nice but I can also be the meanest person you'll ever meet. Watch out your back my dear.
{ music } Good girl gone bad & Disturbia by Rihanna
{ book } New Moon by Stephenie Meyer
{ mood } angry
Posted by kidbaliw under liner, what I'm feeling
and I will wait for that day to come. As usual I'll get use to this huge hole I'm feeling right now. I wish I didn't let you get in my wall. I trusted & loved you but you threw me away.. I wish my teddy can comfort me whenever I get nostalgic. How ironic because everytime I love.. I cry. Let this video show you how I really feels.. enjoy!
hey..
I was just an option for you.. right?
{ music } someday by nina
{ book } new moon by stephenie meyer
{ mood } depressed
Posted by kidbaliw under real world, what I'm feeling
He caught me crying and he just held me so tight. I couldn't help it, I was helpless and very fragile tonight. I wish it never end coz I felt loved by this person. He was quiet as he tried to pacify me. Stop crying my dear.. he whispered. I didn't reply or anything.. I just let this tears fall in my cheeks. This are the tears that I keep on holding on for so long.
"How can be so cruel to me?" I shouted.
"He's just now a past my dear. Like a bubble (whenever you do your laundry) so huge and the wind blew it away.. The fascinating view is just for a while.. Imagined that he's like a day in a calendar, so yesterday.. He's not meant for you.." he replied.
"In time you will get over it, just like a wound that will heal in time" he added.
"But why it hurts so much?" I sniffed.
That was the first time I broke down in front of him. Up to now, doing this blog.. Tears never stops from falling. For a moment I felt that someone truly loves me. Love that's unconditional.. No one can ever replace him in my heart.
I'm sorry if I get this emotional turmoil. I'm just so depress this days.. Part of growing up.. I really appreciate your listening ear.
Thanks daddy. I'll always be your little darling..
{ music } someday by nina
{ mood } depressed
Posted by kidbaliw under real world, what I'm feeling
This will be the last (I think) post for whatever happened to me this past few weeks. I hate to explain myself to everyone who asks me how he is, where he is and what happened. The feeling really sucks like a knife that keeps on stabbing me.
I've been drinking almost every night. I'm sick yeah but I can't help it. How I wish that alcohol could really lift the pain I'm feeling inside. The smoke I inhale every time I light up a cigarette stick will ease my insanity. This is too much. It's like 3/4 of my life had been taken away. No one will ever feel what I'm feeling right now.. Not even him.
I know he's way too happy right now. I don't want to lower myself for someone who didn't see my worth. What hurts the most is when he let me believed that everything's real. The effort, which really swept my feet, took my heart away. I gave him my trust, knowing that he will understand me and love me who I was and I am right now.
I let go of someone who was important for me because I decided that I wanted to keep him. I denied whatever feelings I have when we were starting because he's just a stranger for me. During that time I wanted to make sure that it was love that I'm feeling for him.
Kudos for all the things he had shown for me. After 9 months, we became a couple. Even if during courtship I'm feeling something and hearing something about him, about his loyalty. I ignored and continued in loving him.
When I knew that he was trying to court somebody and the moment he told me that he talked with his ex, I got this weird feeling. It never stopped even if he tried to pacify me.
The first break up, I was off guard. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and be violent with him. However I just cried and break down in front of him. Yet he chose to let me go. Stupid isn’t it?
The pain is really unbearable. I'm angry because I felt like he used me to forget the girls that he really liked. It was unfair on my part because I loved him and I tried to change and be loyal to him.
Everyday I keep on learning the truth.. It really hurts me a lot and it's like a mind torture.
Even if he try to do sugar coating to what had happened. It’s still bitter for me.
With this depression I'm in, I realized that there are a lot of people who cares for me. Especially my parents who tried to comfort me the best way that they can.
Most of my friends, kept on telling me that I should move on. Like I'll get over this pain easily. The truth is? No one really knows how I feel.. I felt alone, betrayed and neglected by the person I least expected that he would do this thing to me. The pain is hmm.. Let me compare it to a bomb. The explosion was so strong and I was the only one who got hurt.. I’m feeling miserable and so lost.
Stop it, please.
{ music } Come back to me by David Cook
{ book } New Moon by Stephenie Meyer
{ mood } frustrated
Posted by kidbaliw under real world, what I'm feeling
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