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Entries for September, 2008

September 1, 2008 @ 01:26 PM

Wake me up when September ends

Let me post a blog which i created last September 17, 2005:

It was September,,, The month that had changed my life,,,

Actually, Im moving on. Trying to break free from the chains of misery.. It was really hard though, pretty really hard. There were nights that I kept on crying from the same damn thing. I can't really believe the fact that HE had done that to me. After all this years, I had a huge respect for that person. I know him ever since I was a little girl.

Im angry at the world,,, I angry to those people who are like him!

Why hiding in a white veil? Pretending your such a RESPECTFUL individual,,, I was really disappointed of you! You used to remind me to do good works. I thought u were a great person! U even encourage me not to go out during wee hours coz its dangerous. Always follow some damn rules and be a nice person. U told me that I should be careful of the world..

I never thought that you were like that. I trusted you so much. Why me? Do I have to be the prize after doing some fucking good deed? huh?

I feel so lost. Really. I will never ever forget what had happened on September 2, 2005. My life is broken... Many of my perception in life had changed because of you. F.U.

Because of you, I had a fear of giving my full trust to anybody.

YOU are the reason why my life is so damn empty!

I hate you!

It's been 3 years..

What am I feeling? Do you ever have that feeling that you're technically okey but you're not?

I really wished it didn't happened. My life was shattered.. It's hard for me to give trust to anybody. My faith was lost. I don't believe in marriage and stuff. That incident taught me that the real world isn't nice.. A scar will always remind me to never trust anybody that easily..

Never.

Happy Birthday Bernice.

Cheers!!!

{ music } She's always a woman to me by Billy Joel
{ mood } gloomy

Posted by kidbaliw under timeline, real world, what I'm feeling

2 viOLent rEaCTiOns

September 10, 2008 @ 01:02 PM

Does it really exist?

Im not a sucker for the sweet romantic thingy.. But this post melted my heart.. Let me share it with you guys..

When she walks away from you mad===[ Follow her]

When she stare's at your lips===[ Kiss her ]

When she pushes you or hit's you===[ Grab her and don’t let go ]

When she start's cursing at you===[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]

When she's quiet===[ Ask her what’s wrong]

When she ignore's you===[ Give her your attention ]

When she pulls away==[ Pull her back ]

When you see her at her worst===[ Tell her she's beautiful ]

When you see her start crying==[Just hold her and don’t say a word ]

When you see her walking==[ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]

When she's scared===[ Protect her ]

When she lay's her head on your shoulder===[ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]

When she steal's your favorite hat==[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]

When she tease's you===[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]

When she doesn’t answer for a long time===[ reassure her that everything is okay ]

When she looks at you with doubt==[ Back yourself up with the TRUTH ]

When she say's that she like's you==[ she really does more than you could understand ]

When she grab's at your hands===[ Hold her's and play with her fingers ]

When she bump's into you===[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]

When she tells you a secret===[ keep it safe and untold ]

When she looks at you in your eyes===[ don’t look away until she does ]

WHEN SHE MISSES YOU===[ SHES HURTING INSIDE]

When you break her heart===[ the pain NEVER really goes away ]

When she says its over===[ she STILL wants you to be hers ]

When she repost this bulletin===[ she wants you to read it ]

- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything

-DON'T let her have the last word

-always call her when u know somethings wrong

-Pretty and beautiful is soo much better...NOT HOT

- Say you love her more than she could ever love you

- Argue that she is the best girl ever

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok don’t believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you

- Tease her and let her tease you back

-Stay up all night with her when she's sick

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid

- Give her the world

- LET HER WEAR YOUR CLOTHES

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

- Let her know she's important

- Kiss her in the pouring rain

- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;"Who's butt am I kicking today baby?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will:

Call you

Kiss you

Love you

Text you

Guys post as: "I'LL be this kind of Boyfriend"

Girls post as: "A REAL BOYFRIEND

Do I need to follow the chain? Nah!

{ music } I'll never get over you (Getting over me)
{ mood } sleepy

Posted by kidbaliw under real world, tagtagan!

kOmEntO

September 12, 2008 @ 11:59 AM

Long weekend

After filing of swap and PTO's..

Here's the fruit of having a 3 days RD.. A long weekend at Hanna's place with Kat, Rose & Darwin..

{ music } Overdrive by e-heads
{ show } bubble gang
{ mood } bouncy

Posted by kidbaliw under reel world

8 viOLent rEaCTiOns

September 13, 2008 @ 10:35 AM

His Song

kung ito man ang huling awitin aawitin

nais kong malaman mo

ika'y bahagi na ng buhay ko

at kung may huling sasabihin

nais kong sambitin

nilagyan mo ng kulay ang mundo

kasama kitang lumuha

dahil sa iyo ako'y may pag-asa

ang awiting itoy para sa iyo

at kung maubos ang tinig di magsisisi

dahil iyong narinig mula sa labi ko salamat,salamat

Hearing this song enveloped me with sadness. Tears fell down on my cheeks.. I remembered a promised that was made a year ago. I wonder if I ever cross his mind.. I guess not.

{ music } Ang Awitin by Yeng Constantino
{ show } MMK

Posted by kidbaliw under liner

1 viOLent rEaCTiOns

September 16, 2008 @ 02:11 PM

Sweetest Sin

I just can't decide right now.

I'll love you the way how I feel at the moment. No expectations.. No restrictions..

Love me today and hate me tomorrow.

{ music } cry by rihanna
{ mood } confused

Posted by kidbaliw under reel world, what I'm feeling | favorite

kOmEntO

September 18, 2008 @ 08:40 PM

being a senior..

Think back to 4th year high school.

Let's see how much you remember& how much you regret.

1. What section were you?

- IV - Hercules

2. Who were your seatmates?

- jayr, kulot & joseph

3. Still remember your english teacher?

- Mr. Danilo Danga

4. What was your first class?

- Values.. :D

5. Who were your best classmates?

- jayr, kulot, janina, lara, jenny & ian

6. Who was your crush back then?

- hmmm.. si Carl saka si ... :D

7. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend?

- ... o.0

8. How was your class schedule?

- keri lang

9. Made any enemies?

- opkors!! :D

10. Who was your favorite teacher?

- My English teacher (Mr. Danga)

11. What sport/s did you play?

- spectator ako weh..

12. Did you buy your lunch?

- yeah.

13. Were you a party animal?

- yup! yup!

14. Were you well known in your school?

- yah sa buong school.. :D as in!

15. Skip classes?

- never

16. Did you get suspended/expelled?

- hindi naman

17. Can you sing the alma mater?

- hindi na ngayon.

18. What was your favorite subject?

- english saka PE (kasi nakatambay lang kami haha!)

19. What was your High School's full name?

- National College of Business & Arts (Cubao)

20. Did you go to the dances?

- haha, yeah.

21. Where did you go most often during breaks?

- HQ, canteen, fire exit (bawal doon, pero pasaway kami! ), 5th floor

22. If you could go back in time and do it all over, or change something, would you?

- oo naman! my life will change if I can go back to the exact time na yun!

23. What do you remember most about 4th year?

- ngarag kong accounting subject.. syet! o syet! haha! anjan yung wala na kami tulog para lang makatapos ng isang chercher.. sankaterbang journal, ledger & balancing act.. papasok sa skul na walang matinong tulog.. hai. o.0 when I won the quiz bee :D I was the champion sa essay writing tapos nawawala ako when they announced my name. haha! asan nga ba ako nun? :D I remember din pinahirapan ko yung crush ko din when I was a CAT officer. weee!!!! I miss going straight sa computer shop after class and play online games with my guy buddies! :D

{ music } umbrella by liliasyster
{ mood } uncomfortable

Posted by kidbaliw under real world, tagtagan!

1 viOLent rEaCTiOns

September 19, 2008 @ 04:46 AM

raining inside my head

I hate what I'm feeling right now..

Im fed up with what I'm hearing outside and inside my head..

They always make me feel this miserable.. I wanted to run away.. I wanted to break free!

But I can't.

Why it stresses me out?!

WTF!

{ music } jm's toy car
{ mood } depressed

Posted by kidbaliw under real world, what I'm feeling

kOmEntO

September 20, 2008 @ 11:37 AM

love takes time

The feeling I have for you now

...can it really move a mountain?

will i burn for you?

{ music } lips of an angel by hinder
{ mood } restless

Posted by kidbaliw under reel world, what I'm feeling

kOmEntO

September 21, 2008 @ 05:53 AM

100 : 1

After my restless RD's, my heart's in rage right now. I don't know if I should be happy in knowing the truth.. Which I think it's better if I didn't knew it in the first place.

If your intention was to hurt me, you won this time. Damn it!

{ music } my happy ending by avril lavigne (best damn tour live in toronto)
{ mood } sick

Posted by kidbaliw under reel world, what I'm feeling

4 viOLent rEaCTiOns

September 22, 2008 @ 02:30 AM

positive?

I think nagiging suki na yata ako sa MMC.. Kagagaling ko lang doon last week at heto panibagong visit nanaman ako. Yesterday I wasn't feeling well because I was really dizzy and I felt the urge to vomit na hindi naman. Bad trip pa nga, halos lahat sila sinasabi na preggy daw ako.. Hello.. Wag ganun!

Anyways, I was in the ER matapos akong turukan ng 2 gamot in IV.. I took a rest kasi nagpapanic ako at may something sa kamay ko.. I was taking a rest then I heard.. "Nadal.."

When I looked up, may gali.. I was astonished to see Kitchie Nadal was beside me. As in like, whoa! Nastarstruck talaga ako.. I checked her hand if it has a tattoo at siya nga!! I texted my friends at sabi nga ni Sup Ron, pictures daw.. Sabi ko ayaw ko kasi super shy talaga ako saka super awkward.. Tama bang nasa ER ka at mag picture picture?

It was her sister who was sick and I find her pretty too. Super simple yung beaty nila pero hindi ka magsasawang titigan. :D

Kulit kasi sa clinic sabi pumunta na daw ako sa MMC since hindi nga tumalab yung gamot na binigay niya. Oh well.. Blessing in disguise I think. haha! Ayoko kasi pumunta sa MMC since I think hindi naman ako malalala..

Pero I just wanted to say thank you sa mga nag alala.. You know who you are guys. Kahit na jinojoke niyo ako.. Touched naman ako kasi you guys cared for me.. :p

Thanks! Thanks!

{ music } my happy ending (repeat forever mode)
{ book } vertigo.. (yah believe it or not I'm reading the updates to ease my anger)
{ mood } thankful

Posted by kidbaliw under reel world, what I'm feeling

4 viOLent rEaCTiOns

September 24, 2008 @ 12:23 PM

Sino ang pipiliin... Ikaw Sana?

“Don’t ever leave the one you love for
the one you like, because the one you like will
leave you for the one they love”Sino Ang Pipiliin… Ikaw Sana…

Ito ay bahagi ng isang awitin, awitin na kung saan kailangang mamili ng isang tao kung sino ang kanyang iibigin… ang kasalukuyang mahal o ang bagong gusto?

Bakit ba kasi kahit may mahal na tayo naakit parin tayong magmahal ng iba? Nakanino ba talaga ang pagkukulang sa tao bang ating minahal o sa atin mismo na nagmamahal?

… Bakit ba hindi ka nakilala nang ako’y Malaya pa
… at hindi ngayon ang puso ko ay mayroon ng iba
… bakit ba hindi ka nakilala nang ako’y nag-iisa
… Sino ang pipiliin

sa kasalukuyan hindi parin natin batid kong ano nga ba ang hiwaga ng salitang Pag-ibig sa tinagal-tagal nating nabuhay sa mundong ito, sa bawat sandali ay nag-mamahal tayo ng taong inakala nating mahal nating talaga… pero nag-mamahal nga ba tayo, o baka naman ang nais lang natin ay makasigurado na minsan sa buhay natin ay may nagmahal sa atin at atin ding minahal.

Kailan nga ba nag-mamahal ng totoo ang isang tao? paano nga ba naipadarama ang damdaming ito? sa akin palagay, walang tunay na pag-ibig… walang totoong pag-mamahal… hanggat hindi natin kayang panindigan na may isang tao tayong minahal at ni minsan hindi na tayo mag-mamahal pa ng iba maliban sa kasalukuyan nating iniibig.

Kasi kung sasabihin nating tunay na pag-ibig ang nararamdam natin sa ating mahal sa ngayon, ano ang tawag sa pagmamahal na nararamdam natin para sa ibang tao, gayong may minamahal pa tayo?

Mahirap makatagpo ng isang taong Mamahalin at magagawang Mahalin ka rin katumbas ng iyong Pag-ibig, sa usaping Pagmamahal… laging hindi pantay ang damdamin ng isa sa isa pa… kaya minsan, napapagod ang puso at nagagawa nyang mag hanap ng iba… dahil inaakala nya na minsan sa kanyang paghahanap makakatagpo sya ng isang totoo at tunay na Pag-ibig!

Sana dumating tayo sa sandaling magmamahal tayo at dina kaylan man malilito kapag may dumating na bagong pag-ibig, upang hindi masayang ang panahon na kung saan umibig tayo ng isang nilalang… ito ay isa sa aking dalangin!

“Hindi mahalaga kung sino ang Nauna… o kung sino ang Nahuli. Hindi mahalaga kung sino ang Nagtagal… o kung sino ang Saglit lang, ang Mahalaga ay kung sino ang tunay na MINAHAL!”

–isang kaibigan ang humingi ng payo sa akin para sa nalilito n’yang puso ang dahilan kung bakit ko na sulat ito… noon January 17, 2005… masaya na sya ngayon sa piling ng kanyang asawa, may isa narin s’yang anak-

Lemmor Larrab Setneuf

{ music } blind by lifehouse
{ mood } confused

Posted by kidbaliw under what I'm feeling

8 viOLent rEaCTiOns

September 26, 2008 @ 11:12 AM

after 9 months