Entries for June, 2008
Do you ever felt like you're walking in a fragile glass? Like any wrong move will make your life miserable.. I know I should be happy and contented (yep it's true) but there are things na iniiwasan mo.. yet kaboom! andoon ka na! Wala ka nang lusot!!
But I learned from my past. Ayoko na ulit umabot sa years bago ako makarecover.. It really takes a lot of time for me to get over and move on. Kaya hanggat kaya ko..
Wrong move and I'm done.
I don't know why.. I don't know how.. One thing Im pretty sure of..
I do know where I truly belong.. Even if it's full of thorns.. I know Im damn crazy.. Ano magagawa ko? I wish you can read my mind.. So it will be easy for me to express what I really feel..
Do you feel the same way too? Or just playing safe? Come on. We've come a long way.. We're not getting younger.. Pacify me..
Why is it so hard for me to be ME to eveybody?
{ music } Always Been You by Imajin
{ show } Hana Kimi
{ mood } scared
Posted by kidbaliw under real world, what I'm feeling
After all the frustrative stats before FINALLY this month it changed.
Sabi ko nga kay Ron,
weh? Akin yan? Baka joke lang yan huh? Galing.. Promise akin talaga yan?
I thanked Goya for challenging me to be good.. Super nakaka stress talaga stats ko.. I swear!! Ngayon ko lang naiapply mga sinasabi niya before. I hope somehow she's proud.. Nakakahiya din kasi hindi ko nagawa yun when I was her direct report.. super ka lurky talaga.. I swear!! gaya ng mga previous sups ko like Jerome and si Inay Katie.. sana I will make them proud one day. 
Saka si Ron, for inspiring me as well noong unang team meeting ko sa kanya.. His lines were "Let's make a fresh new start".. Salamat Ron! 
Ano ba ginawa ko? I just divert all my frustrations and hurtings in life sa work ko. I worked hard and did my best to hit whatever kailangan i hit.
So gaya ng sabi ni Domeng everytime he sends email noong pusa pa kami.. "Consistency is the KEY"
Siguro nga tama din yung sinasabi ni Darwin pero hindi ko lang inaabsorb sa sarili ko..
Oh well.. Sarap lang ng feeling.
{ music } confession sessions (Magic 899)
{ book } darwin and ed's YM
{ mood } grateful
Posted by kidbaliw under reel world, what I'm feeling
Now I'm feeling that space you'd told me before. Am I just paranoid? I have this weird feeling. What should I do? Kinda pretty stupid dealing with this. Wish you can read my mind so it will be easier for me and not bottle it up. You think it's easy for me to keep it? Hell no! Im a bit frustrated coz there are so many questions that stuck up inside my mind. It's just.. Im scared of losing you.. again.
It's like you're slowly falling away from my grip. Please don't.
{ music } amazed by lonestar
{ book } female network
{ show } csrt
{ mood } frustrated
Posted by kidbaliw under hidden letters
"If you were here in front of me
.. I will ask you to marry me"
Im sorry I don't give a damn to those shit proposals.
{ music } If I were you by hoobastank
{ show } hana kimi (taiwanese version)
{ mood } amused
Posted by kidbaliw under reel world
When I wake up first day in the morning, I wanted to see your face and feel your warmth as you kiss my fears away. You are always in my dreams which gives me this crazy feeling as I yearn for you.
The devil who captured my heart and the one who toured me in heaven, there is something in you that makes me ask for more.
I miss you so bad it feels like hell.
{ music } wait for you by elliot yamin
{ show } hana kimi
{ mood } melancholy
Posted by kidbaliw under hidden letters, real world, what I'm feeling
The wind blew so hard on my window that it woke me up in the middle of the night. Coldness filled in my room as I looked for your presence but to my dismay you were not there.
Listening to the music I'm hearing outside my window remebered me of his dance. They played so vividly in my mind.
My sister was right..
{ music } without you by charlie wilson
{ mood } hopeful
Posted by kidbaliw under hidden letters, real world
I was reading the site I usually hang out whenever I have an avail time. Super naiyak talaga ako when I read a post about a breakup thread.
I felt like I was the person who wrote that blog. This are the lines that really broke my heart..
What have i learned? To be contented. To be sensitive. To be understanding. To be faithful. To accept things just as they are. To love truly. The greatest love I have ever known will never be mine. I prefer to just live by myself and be sad about it. I deserve a harsher punishment than this. I have marked myself with the word and date on myself. A mark which will never leave me and that will be there forever until my body turns into ashes.
I don't want to experience that again.. Looking back to what I did.. Im also human and I commit mistake. It's just I don't want to be in that same place again.
I had sent you an email. Whatever I had written there really came from the bottom of my damaged heart. I've been through hell and you know it.. Now I learned from it and I don't want to be in an abyss of loneliness again..
{ music } tell her by jesse mccartney
{ book } http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,177434.220/topicseen.html
{ mood } scared
Posted by kidbaliw under liner, real world, what I'm feeling
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