Entries for March, 2008
March 2, 2008 @ 01:33 AM
going straight
Kinakabahan ako.
Parang ayoko umuwi.. syet!
am I going to be alone again?
{ music } won't go home without you by maroon 5
{ mood } scared
Posted by kidbaliw
kOmEntO
March 2, 2008 @ 03:22 AM
6 Weird things about nicey..
Tagged by: sweetest_thing
THE RULES: The first player of this game starts by blogging about "the 6 weird thing/habits about myself" and people who get tagged need to write an entry of their own 6 weird things/habits, as well as state this rule clearly. At the end of this entry, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and write their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment saying "you are tagged" and tell them to read your entry.
- i love doing self talk =P
- if someone says no, I'll go ahead and make that person get irritated.
- I enjoy listening to one song for my wholeshift (repeat all day mode) especially when I'm depressed..
- I criticize people how they speak (on my mind keme).. their accent and stuff, grammar.. thanks to planet.. *clap! clap!
- I don't expect good things to come 'always' my way.
- When I say I'm not hungry.. I eat more..
I tagged:
angcutenakulot, aloofguy, qtanne, mandatory, blue001 and jeany001
{ music } mr brightside by the killers
{ mood } depressed
Posted by kidbaliw
| favorite
2 viOLent rEaCTiOns
March 3, 2008 @ 02:59 AM
keep hurting till it numbs you
Just for kicks I guess..
You hurt me and I hurt you.
I call it quits.
Im not a doll that follows whatever you want me to do.
Stubborn. Crazy. Bitch.
Are we going to be on laboratory again.. huh?
I don't want to be the animal you do test..
Or vice versa?
Im in deep hurt..
..for real.
can you be sensitive enough? I have feelings too..
{ music } behind blue eyes by limp bizkit
{ mood } cold
Posted by kidbaliw
6 viOLent rEaCTiOns
March 3, 2008 @ 09:05 AM
tears do lie
-hey.. (with the gesture to kiss me)
my hands was about to slap his cheek
he managed to hold my hand
-ano to?
-you liar! ayoko na!
-ah ganun? halika nga dito..
-tanggalin mo nga yang hawak mo sa akin!
we changed location since nasa gitna kami ng corridor ng school campus..
-tama na *r**.. Let me go!
-explain to me why..
as far as I could remember we were having an argument na.. people in school was already you know usis galore.. then I decided to walk away..
-nicey!
-ayoko na. im so fed up sa'yo. leave me alone!
we were at the highway na. habulan ever. until he managed to caught me as he embraced me tight.. i was trying to get away from his embrace in full force.. sinasaktan ko na siya but instead he held me tighter.
-please hindi ko kaya mawala ka..
-oh? really? after what I had learned from you? kaya pala ang lakas ng loob mong manghamon jan.. letche!
as i push him away i saw tears in his eyes..
-don't do this to me.. please
he knelt down
tangina yung mga tao hiyawan.. nakakahiya!! nasa kalye kami noon.. i was in college when it happened.
hindi ko na maalala yung other things na kasunod pa.. It's just I find it guys they are so hard to define. Kaya nila maging pa innocent effect tapos one moment magiging devil sila..
But Im not bitter sa kanya.. like hello? it's been years na already kaya.. la lang gusto ko lang ishare.
not all tears show real intentions.. we need to be sensitive enough to know if it's for reel or real..
been there.. experienced that.. la lang looking back with my past and sharing it to the world.
{ music } guillotine by urbandub
{ mood } cheerful
Posted by kidbaliw under timeline
kOmEntO
March 3, 2008 @ 09:21 AM
tonight you are not here
Tonight I'm falling and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you I just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight
The song that keeps on ringing my head.
My head aches and my heart.
Shit.
Why does it hurt so bad?
This kills me and no one understand the pain Im going through.
*sniff!
{ music } tonight by fm static
{ mood } depressed
Posted by kidbaliw
6 viOLent rEaCTiOns
March 5, 2008 @ 09:08 AM
heads up.. =)
Funny how a simple hug can do a mighty change of heart?
It feels like I just woke up from a bad dream and I realized that I should work my ass out.
Im smiling for a reason I can't explain right now. Trying to be the person I was when I hit the floor for the first time.
Got to separate reel to real world. =)
*I wanna hear you to be nice on call, take the attitude from your name.
Maria Centino
Planet Trainer
{ music } with you by chris brown
{ mood } determined
Posted by kidbaliw
kOmEntO
March 8, 2008 @ 04:54 AM
blog downsouth
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you send me to heaven
They say the message was so lame and so pathetic but this song touched my heart so much. Hearing this coming from one's heart did gave me goosebumps. I'm scared..
Everything I wished for is at my hand already.. am I dreaming?
Like everything's in plan.. nice..
Yet I need to work on my ass as I fly back tomorrow morning. It's like I loosen up a lot and it affected my stats. Congrats juicers.. we made it! Tic Tac Toe!! wooohooo!!
I'm hell inspired!
~This is the very first time I completed the one full color of rubix cube without any help.. I was alone in my room then someone knocked the door and left the cube and I started to unleashed the wizard in me. haha!
{ music } unbelievable by craig david
{ mood } happy
Posted by kidbaliw
kOmEntO
March 9, 2008 @ 05:47 AM
are you?
You do what I had wished for during my younger years.
Why are you like that? o.O
{ music } for the first time by rod stewart
{ mood } mellow
Posted by kidbaliw
kOmEntO
March 10, 2008 @ 05:11 AM
rise and fall
Trying to redeem myself from the fall is my priority right now. I feel like I'm bruised all over and it's kinda pretty hard for me to get up.
"You should known that in the first place.."
Right. Maybe I get too loosen up that's why I fail most. At least I managed to see the person I might not see ever again. I had stated those words I wanted to tell her long ago. If only I can take away the pain she have right now, I'll do that for her. No questions asked.
I hate living my life with regret.
I wanted to prove to them that I can rise again and make them proud. I'm learning the process of segregating my thoughts (which I usually do) so that I can handle things properly. If they can achieve such things.. Why can't I? I can do better right? No more baby steps coz it will take that change to take effect for a long time.
Me.. Myself and I.
Time flies so quickly and we don't get younger..
Consistency is the key..
..so easy to say yet so hard to take the action.
{ music } fix you by coldplay
{ mood } determined
Posted by kidbaliw
2 viOLent rEaCTiOns
March 12, 2008 @ 02:44 AM
gravitational force
Everytime I try to fly there are things that pulls me back on the pit.
It sucks!
{ music } basket case by greenday
{ mood } hungry
Posted by kidbaliw
kOmEntO
March 14, 2008 @ 09:41 AM
up there ^^
For a person who's now up there looking down upon me now..
Thank you
For being there when I need company
For taking care of me when I'm sick
I wish I can just take away the pain for you
Appreciate all the things you had done for me
Even if you can't hear me now
I know you visit me in my sleep
You will still guard me away from harm
Guide me to all the shits I'm in to
If only I can asked for another extension of your life
You will always be in my heart
I'll hug you and whisper these words with the wind
I know my words shall be heard
Wherever you are
You will be near
Locked inside my heart
{ music } Ghost in you by mcr
{ mood } depressed
Posted by kidbaliw under hidden letters
kOmEntO
March 15, 2008 @ 02:09 AM
happy birthday daddy!
Can you spot the difference?
This shot was taken when I was with Sir Luis, Sir Ed and Hosting Darwin in Sukina. I was amazed kasi akala ko joke time lang yung kabayo na naka ngiti na yan.. Kulet!!! Pero never ko din malilimutan yang inom na yan dahil when I woke up nasa kakaibang lugar na pala ako.. I woke up at nasa Area 1 na pala ako.. Lumagpas si watashi!!
Today is my dad's birthday.. La lang tinamad na ako magluto kaya nagpadeliver nalang ako ng pizza and I bought cake and ice cream.. Naghalo halo pa kami.. Yeah.. summer is definitely here! Mejo pissed off lang.. Dami pang laundry sa taas.. Hai. Lahat ng tao sa bahay inaaway ko na. Pati yung delivery boy.. Wala talaga ako patawad.. (sorry naman) Tapos dad ko lumayas kagad.. kamusta naman yun diba?
I feel incomplete and I know within my heart why. Kagabi while I was alone in my room (I was listening to go on girl ni neyo) feeling ko nagiisa talaga ako. I wanted to know why.. I wanted my heart be pacified kasi napaparanoid nanaman ako. Gumaganti ba? Ayoko na talaga maniwala sa mga words that uttered from a mouth. Hindi ba niya alam na nasasaktan ako? Or ako lang ulit ang paranoid? I remember sabi sa akin ni Darwin, move on na daw ako. Yeah right. As if ganun kadali yun no! Madaling sabihin pero ang hirap hirap gawin! I even felt na unfair ako..
After ng laundry ko I'll hit the parlor and mall muna. Ayoko magstay dito sa bahay.. Maraming memories akong nakikita and it stabs my heart right now.. Gusto ko sirain yung bawat makita ko. I wanted to scream and wish makita niya na nagagalit ako.
Sabi mo.. Sabi mo...
Ewan ko sa'yo! Wala kang isang salita..
Kaya mo e! Kaya mong hindi gawin mga sinasabi mo..
I hate myself coz I'm like this because of you.. Sabi mo.. sabi mo..
letche!
Okey na dapat e.. Bakit ganun? Basta. Aalis ako now na! I wanted to free my mind.. Tamang tama at sale ngayon sa rob at pay day ngayon.. hmmm.. makapag arcade nga!
{ music } Guillotine by urbandub & Vindicated by Dashboard Confessionals
{ mood } angry
Posted by kidbaliw
3 viOLent rEaCTiOns
March 15, 2008 @ 02:49 AM
bedrock?
Miss you..
I want you so... in..
bed oops! wrong grammar!
I want you so bad!
Missin' you right now.
Damn it feels like hell..
{ music } all i need by shamrock
{ mood } confused
Posted by kidbaliw under hidden letters
2 viOLent rEaCTiOns
March 18, 2008 @ 07:55 AM
axe
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I FEEL RIGHT NOW"
I do.. So please calm down. I don't know but these days whenever I get irate callers I pity them. Like why exert effort to shout to someone you don't know to resolve your concern? Duh?!
I picture myself right now like left alone in an island. Enjoying the peace I'm feeling right now. Weird I must say but it's a good feeling.
Do you ever felt like you can't feel anything? Just blank and there is no pain? Or maybe I'm numb to the feeling I have all along..
{ music } stolen by dashboard confessional
{ book } max
{ mood } blank
Posted by kidbaliw
kOmEntO
March 19, 2008 @ 05:44 AM
c'est la vie
Isn't it a wonder when things you used to hoped for was actually happening right now?
There are things that makes us blind that we tend to be insane for a reason we can't define. Savoring the moment is the only thing we can do. Can we rely to an instinct we feel during that moment?
What if tomorrow it will never happen again?
{ music } It's gonna be love by Mandy Moore
{ mood } blank
Posted by kidbaliw
kOmEntO
March 21, 2008 @ 05:49 AM
Sour gripe
"Uncle wag po.."
I heard this somewhere sa TV kanina and I was just writing some stuff sa organizer ko.. Then I saw the trailer.. Tears began to fall on my cheeks..
The past will keep on haunting you like ghost.
It feels like it happened yesterday.. so fresh.. so painful.
Why is it so hard for me to forgive and forget?
{ music } Because of you by Kelly Clarkson
{ show } Lamat sa puso
{ mood } uncomfortable
Posted by kidbaliw under timeline
3 viOLent rEaCTiOns
March 22, 2008 @ 12:02 PM
those were the days
I miss them soo much! Parang every week nasa starstruck kami at may naalis kada week.. I wish I can see them ulit. yung tipong nasa JG summit building ulit kami with Maria... Kulitan galore with Neil..
I miss shoti, atchi, myra, gelai, jerome, ate cecile, mami beth, mami betchai, cathy, olin, pam, angel, mike, judy, jun, ram, billy, lyndon, kurtz, magie & jun..
I had so much memories with them.. Hai. One year na pala ang nakakalipas.. I can still remember kada week din may inom session din kami.. Tapos gala mode gamit ang auto ni jun na nahuli sa coastal dahil 'swerving' daw kami.. duh?!
Miss you guys!
{ music } Paglisan by Color It Red
{ book } my blog in friendster
{ mood } gloomy
Posted by kidbaliw under timeline
6 viOLent rEaCTiOns
March 22, 2008 @ 12:50 PM
My Guardian Angel
Aray.. Aray na ko wooohooo...
Someone was singing that song noong nasa terrace kami. There was a group of guys nakatambay sa kanto harap ng house namin. Well hindi ko naman makikilala kasi like 'hello' napaka linaw ata ng mata ko. After he left I asked my sister.. "Vanie, kita mo ba si *r*c jan sa tabi tabi?" she answered me "oo ate.. bakit?"
Now I know why.. Lupit nga nun.. It was summer then bigla siyang sumugod sa akin nakainom tapos sinusumbatan ako.. Aba.. Like keso parang ano daw ba ako.. Hindi ko daw ba nakikita yung effort niya.. Sabihin ko na daw kung talagang may pag asa kami.. tindi non.. Well siguro nakainom kasi kaya ganun.
So much for that.. Im happy kasi kahit na i have a bitter past still there are reason for me to be happy and say life's sweeter the second time around. Akala ko talaga never ko na ulit makukuha yun.. Well alam ng sister ko yun.. Ayos nga yun..
Sa terrace..
" I will never let you fall.. I'll stand up with you forever.. I'll be there for you through it all.. Even if saving you sends me to heaven..
Cuz you're my.. you're my.. my true love, my whole heart.. Please don't throw that away... Cuz I'm here for you.. Please don't walk away..."
Please tell you I'll stay??? I whispered back..
Sumunod naman ang gago.. Haha! Akala niya yun yung lyrics.. Haha! Sabi niya ayaw niya pero.. o.O
I love this song the first time I heard it sa magic.. Then hearing this song and knowing it's dedicated for me.. wow.. holy syet na malagket! Buti nalang talaga.. BUTI NALANG!!!! Pero I'm scared..
Sometimes in a midst of darkness.. Storms and trials.. There's my star.. My heaven..
Iuuwi na kita..
Ows? Talaga lang huh? Paano si mama? As if close kami?!
Hai naku. Malaking gulo ito.. Knowing my parents who are very religious and strictly follow 'their' rules..
We made plans.. Wala lang! kulitan lang..
Syet. Bakit ba kasi ganun un e! I have my own plans.. Yun lang that is kung payag sila.. Feeling ko my folks will super mega disagree.. Hmmm.. Ayoko na muna isipin yun.. Malayong malayo pa!
But I know like in the song.. gagawin niya yun for me.
Thanks.. Thanks! =)
Thank you kasi kahit na I did hurt you.. Sabi mo ayaw mo na.. But I don't think so.. You liar..
My soulja boy and I'm your soulja girl..
Pero my gumugulo sa dream ko.. Bakit kaya ganun?
It's hard to deal if you're caught up into something that you don't know how it will go..
Why it's so hard?
{ music } Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Aparatus
{ book } Phantom In Time by Eugena Riley
{ mood } devious
Posted by kidbaliw
8 viOLent rEaCTiOns
March 24, 2008 @ 07:15 AM
Walled City
"Oh you do. You're friendly but you're locked up in your own world, emotionally distant.."
...Ouch!
Something bothering my mind right now..
Run away? Maybe I'll hide within my bubbles..
{ music } coin operated boy by the dresden dolls
{ book } Phantom in time by Eugenia Riley
{ mood } scared
Posted by kidbaliw
| stickied
33 viOLent rEaCTiOns
March 27, 2008 @ 12:01 PM
darkangels
These were the girls I befriend with way back in college. The names are anna marie, joyce anne, catherine, sheryll and Beth. We belong in 3 different sections until on our last sem our sections was merged. I never thought that Catherine will be my best of friend.. As in away kami niyan when we were freshmen.. Doon ko lang na realized na hmm masarap pala ifriend kaaway mo no? =)
We love hanging out together like gala sa mall, eat and wednesday night (petron)..
Maybe I'll make it this way para masaya ang kwento ko sa kanila.
Sheryll
-Malaki ang tampo niya sa akin way back nung freshman kami. As in I felt like I was alienated sa section namin kasi sa panig niya karamihan ng girls at men.. talagang i was bullied.. buti nalang andun si Precious
-One thing I realized.. Minsan pala tama din na sundin ang heart.. Kasi pinili ko nga 'sila' pero mga liars pala sila.. Sayang.. Ano kaya if I chose the guy over the people i so call friend?
Beth
-Tahimik siya. Super but I love her because she's fun being with. =)
Anna Marie
-I thought she's nice.. yah she's nice uu pero I heard she was the one who spread rumors na 'preggy' ako sa school namin..
-Well I think I get even with her.. secretong malupet bakit.. haha!
-Pretty sure kapag nalaman niya.. magpapakamatay siya.. oh yeah!
Catherine
-The girl na sa umpisa kaaway ko siya.. Pero we became really close..
Joyce Anne
-The one who gaved me the name 'nicey' and i call her joycee
-Umiiyak ito sa akin kapag may mali ako ginagawa.. A real ate indeed way back then I must say.
It's been years since we had these conversation.. They're trying to reach for me.. But I decided to changed all my numbers and never contacted them.. ever!
Masama na kung masama..
But I believe what I did was right.
It's like I had erased them on my system.. Kahit na I get message from them.. keber.. Sabi nila they miss me na daw (the life of the party)..
Oh really?
{ music } confession sessions (BNO)
{ book } Phantom in time
{ show } heroes 1
{ mood } devious
Posted by kidbaliw under timeline
2 viOLent rEaCTiOns
March 29, 2008 @ 05:28 AM
how can i get you alone?
I was cleaning my room then all of a sudden I felt a goosebumps in me. Then I just caught myself crying for a memory that I erased long ago. I was told to forget him. You know what I did? I erased all the pages of my journal that I wrote about him.
I linger for that love I used to had...
What if the ghost never happened? What if I never got myself drunk and never taken advantage of?
I know I had good memories with him but to my dismay I can't remember all of it. I had great memories in Batangas like dancing in the rain and playing with fire at the same time.
My sister caught me reading my journal (2006) she told me, "Ate.. Namimiss mo si *oy**? Diba niloko ka lang nun?" I just looked at her blanky then continued my reading. "Wala kang alam" I answered in my thought. I even played the cd we used to share, those music that made me happy for a while..
Nipis nga ng journal na yun.. Mukang madami talaga ako sinunog way back..
Im thankful for my past for hurting me that much and it led me to where I'm right now in my present.
"Pamimigay mo ba ako ng ganun ganun lang?"
"Tignan nila kung makukuha nila ikaw sa akin.. or pwede din na pamigay nalang kaya kita?"
"Ouch.. Ano ako toy?"
grins.. "Hindi no.. joke lang"
I can say first cut is the deepest but the second time around is the most sweetest..
{ music } Alone by Heart
{ book } Phantom in time by Eugenia Riley
{ mood } melancholy
Posted by kidbaliw under timeline
kOmEntO
March 30, 2008 @ 04:46 AM
my own bubble
Friendship is one of the most treasured things in life. To sum it all, a real friend is there
for you, 24/7, rain or shine. But then, what if, by chance, you feel butterflies in your
stomach, and feel nervous/excited/self-conscious whenever you see him/her?
Would let yourself fall for your friend even if you have to sacrifice your FRIENDSHIP?
I have my own bubbles that's color purple on the outside but colored black in the inside. Naalala ko tuloy yung sinabi ni kat.. We share the same way in dealing life complications.
Im tired.
{ music } alone by heart (lss)
{ book } Phantom in time by Eugenia Riley
{ mood } blank
Posted by kidbaliw
1 viOLent rEaCTiOns
