Entries for January, 2008
hope
- to cherish a desire with anticipation
- to desire with expectation of obtainment
- to expect with confidence; trust
A word that makes a person to gamble and take risk of being hurt. I rarely give out easily my trust with somebody.
I'll take your word. Don't you dare break it.
These days I'm fond of listening to sappy love songs.. sigh!
{ music } I wanna be with you by Mandy Moore
{ mood } hopeful
Posted by kidbaliw
Nakakainis. My pinost ako tapos hindi ko na xa maipublish.. musta naman yun diba??
I wanna go home na.. sobra! We don't have calls this shift. But on the brighter side, next week 4 days lang ang pasok ko. I was so excited to know that my PTO was approved! I have fun plans in mind.. teehee!
I remember the morning I woke up, I read a message that made me cry. Tears just fell on my cheeks not because I was depress or what not.. It was so inspiring and I was like speachless for a moment in time.
hope
- to expect with confidence; TRUST.
This word makes people gamble with the game and take that risk. I wanted to believe that this is happening to me but Im a bit skeptical knowing that in time, it will lead me again to hell. But a friend told me that I should give it a try..
I'll take your word. At least we are hopeful.. right?
These days I can't help but listen to sappy love songs again. sigh!
{ music } way back into love
{ mood } hopeful
Posted by kidbaliw
*That will be my gift..
Now I'm scared! Super scary! But you will never have that gift..
No way!
{ music } alive by frio
{ mood } angry
Posted by kidbaliw
Your Good At It!
This was the line I heard from my customer, her name is jennifer aldrich. Like hello?! araw araw ko na nga ginagawa yun no.. as in like duh?! She mentioned that I was so like know all her problems. Ewan ko sa kanya! hehe!
In a job I have patience is a must.
Today is my last day.. Thank goodness at makakapag pahinga na ako. Ilang days na kasi ako nahihilo.. Weird.
{ music } First Love by Utada Hikaru
{ mood } sick
Posted by kidbaliw
I had met so many fishes and lured with them. They made me happy but for a while. Then I found you, my one gold fish amongst them all.
There is something in you that makes me linger for you. I don't know how but its true.
I will keep you because no one can make me feel like this like you do.
*I'll take your word, I trust you.
I realized one thing... Hopefully I can manage to take my word. I don't want to make them disappointed because of me. It feels like I'm walking in a fragile glass again. People around me have high expectations on me. They had made their own mistakes.
I wanted to make mine different.
Im feeling happy and scared at the same time.
{ music } i miss you like crazy by natalie cole
{ book } one more day keme " nakakaiyak siya =( "
{ mood } enthralled
Posted by kidbaliw
Im back with my vices again. Something that bothers me and that's the only thing I can do to use it as an outlet.
I don't know if I'm just being paranoid or what not. One thing for sure I'm stressed about that matter!
When things will get straighten out, I'll be a cold turkey again.
Another issue.. I know I won't do the same thing again that led me to hell. Hmmm.. As I look back, I was really that so stupid! I know I won't let my life be on the mess again.
This time?
Never!
{ music } Loco Roco theme song (psp game)
{ mood } stressed
Posted by kidbaliw
I was listening to my favorite segment in magic 89.9 which called confession sessions. I fell inlove with the poem I heard spoken by a girl. Now I'm in my work and I search for that poem. Luckily I manage to get the poem, here it is:
If you forget me
I want you to know one thing
you know how this is
if I look at the crystal moon
at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window,
If I touch near the fire the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log.
Everything carries me to you, as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals, or little boats
that sail towards those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well now, if little by little you stop loving me,
I shall stop loving you, little by little.
If suddenly you forget me, do not look for me
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think at long and mad the wind banners that passes through my life
and you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots,
remember than on that day, at that hour I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off to seek another land.
But if each day each hour
you feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness.
If each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me, ah my love,
ah my own, in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love beloved,
and as long as you live in will be in your arms without leaving mine.
It gave me goosebumps. I hate it but hey I did relate to the poem.
Im so stress this days.. Im not feeling fine. I can't have my vices kasi may pulis.. hai. sob!
{ music } Till I get over you
{ mood } stressed
Posted by kidbaliw
Im so excited.. I just can't hide it! 
Tomorrow I'll try my best to make you happy. Hope you'll like how I'll whip the viand for you.
Time will never be a hindrance for us. Unlike before that I used to be mad in just simple things, this time I'll make the best way to keep it the way was we wanted it to be.
You always inspire me to be better in my life. 
I can be your angel and the bitch at the same time.. 
*im so pissed off with my last caller. he kept on insisting things that it should be that way.. hello? there is a conflict with their account.. he can't do a pcr if the account only have a hosting package.. i made an escallation, he asked for a supervisor.. fuck him! arthur ly was my cx name.
{ music } buttons by pcd
{ mood } angry
Posted by kidbaliw
You are The Empress Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation. The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful. The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.
*thanks to anne.. got your link and play around.. haha!
{ music } dont cha by pcd
{ mood } crazy
Posted by kidbaliw
*Trip kong panoorin yung I am Legend.. Tara lets watch a movie..
That message I read during my lunch break did put a smile on my face. I replied yes and I'm so so available for three straight days..
Maybe after shift we'll go and hit the movie house..
Im really giggly at my station right now.. hehe.
{ music } pon de replay by rihanna
{ mood } excited
Posted by kidbaliw
Today is the start of my 3 days rd.. sooo happy! hehe. I'll clean my crib and maybe I'll do my laundry so that I can fully enjoy my rd on it's last days..
Medyo tinatamad nga ako umalis but I think I need to work my ass now because.. BECAUSE!
Im so excited lang talaga.. hehe! Although Im not really phisically okay because my bp is not normal these days.. I've been super stressed with what I had learned last week. Ayan hindi ko tuloy magawang magisoy.. sob! It all started nung my cx ako na my taga hazelton na nag process ng sev for a year without acknowledging the cx na she had added that fuckin' product. Ayun nagwating c cx keso bakit my $300++ na bill sa credit card niya.. susme! Simula na nun I feel like dizzy and the vomiting keme na yan tapos I went in the clinic.. yun I have high bp.. musta naman yun diba? im slim and young no.. hmf! Though I really hope na hindi yun.. basta hindi yun! o.O
But I'll get my sweet reward after all these stressful days on the latter part of the day. woohoo! Then I also look forward to the next plan.. I deserve it naman.. right?
Your love is my sweetest sin.. haha!
Here's the pic with my bitch.. We were in a coffee shop somewhere in rob imus. We had a lot of fun when we set a date together. She's leaving soon again na nga, hai.. I'll be missing her company. Love you bitch!
{ music } hero heroine by boys like girls
Posted by kidbaliw
I've watched this movie on a last full show.. Mejo magulo at after movie I can't help but wonder.. I have questions like paano kumalat yung virus? sino yung unang nainfected at saan? Parang panay glimpse lang ang pinakita tapos bitin pa.. Musta naman yun diba?? Though I was really sad na nung namatay yung bestfriend niya, sam is the name. Parang insane na nga din siya doon.. Kaw ba naman wala kang makausap.. mga panay manikin lang at yung aso mo lang ang kasama mo.. nakaka praning kaya yun! although he get to drive the hottest cars.. haha! walang pumigil sa kanya...
Kawawa ang yung kasama ko kasi I didn't scream as in like super scream... pigang piga na siya sa kakakapit ko sa kanya eveytime nagugulat ako. haha! tapos meron isa ewan ko lang kung anong scene yun.. may singsing siya e nakahawak ako sa kamay niya.. ayun napiga yung daliri niya.. take note: may singsing pa yun! haha! After the movie food trip ang ginawa namin.. hey! I missed eating tokneneng at kalamares.. yun!
Straight home na ang drama after movie. We talked for a while, played with my dudung and read out poems.. haha! Kakamiss din yung ganun na kakulitan na ginagawa lang namin.. Shared our favorite musics and stuff. Haha!
Next movie will be the 10,000 BC.. cool! haha!
Loved the way I cooked sinigang ha? hehe!
{ music } If ever you're in my arms again
{ mood } cheerful
Posted by kidbaliw
I read this somewhere sa bulletin ng cousin ko.. OMG! Goosebumps siya! Share ko lang.
Anne was
chatting on
her YM
when someone
named Marco Mist added her.
She accepted the invitation.
A nn cute:hus ds?
Marco Mist: di mo ako kilala?
Ann cute: di po e
Ann cute: cno po 2?
Marco Mist: sus kunwari ka pa
Ann cute: cno nga 2?!
Marco Mist: ann
Marco Mist: wag
Marco Mist: ka
Marco Mist: na
Marco Mist: magkunwari
Ann cute: kulit mo din noh?
Marco Mist: si marco to
Ann cute: cnong marco?
Marco Mist: ah so kinalimutan mo na ko?
Ann cute: cno ka ba tlga?!
Marco Mist: marco.
Marco Mist: Marco I. Melionza
Ann cute: Marco?!
Marco Mist: at last
Ann cute: OMG!
Ann cute: wag mo nga ako lokohin!
Ann cute: patay na si marco e!
Marco Mist: kaya nga e.
Marco Mist: miss na miss na kita ann
Marco Mist: miss na miss
Ann cute: hindi na to nkktawa
Ann cute: cno 2? jordan? mike?
Ann cute: wag nau kau mgkunwari!
Ann cute: 
Marco Mist: ann ako nga to
Marco Mist: gus2 mo magwebcam pa ko?
Ann cute: cge ba
Marco turned on his webcam
An n cute: O
Ann cute: M
Ann cute: G
Marco Mist: kita mo na?
Ann cute: imposible!
Ann cute: nkita kitang nasagasaan!
Marco Mist: ...
Ann cute: so hndi k tlga ptay?
Marco Mist: patay
Ann cute: wtf?!?!
Ann cute: linawin mo nga
Marco Mist: bumalik ako pra sau
Marco Mist: mhal prin kita ann
Ann cute: marco may bf na ko
Ann cute: si noel
Afte r that, Marco stopped replying and
his webcam was paused.
But Marco still hasn't signed out.
Ann didn't close Marco's webcam just in
case Marco broadcasts again.
BU ZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
Ann buzzed 2 times
Still no reply
All of a sudden Marco's webcam was on
again
I t showed Marco, his head ed
open,
bleed ing, his whole body full of cuts
and open wounds.
Marco looked the et same way he did
when he was hit by a truck.
Ann froze in shock
All of a sudden Marco replied
M arco Mist: so hindi mo na ako mahal?
Ma rco signed out
Ann's computer turned off by itself
Ann's phone rang
Ann: Hello?
Jordan: Ann, bad news.
Ann: Ha? Ano?
Jordan: Si Noel.
Ann: Ano nangyari kay Noel?!
Jordan: Nasagasaan siya ng truck.
Ann: (cries)
Jordan: Hello? Ann?
Ann: Nasaan siya?
Jordan: Nasa ********.
Ann: Papunta na ko.
Jordan: Ok.
Ann went to ******** Hospital.
Jor dan leaded her to Noel's hospital
room.
**the hospital name has been censored
for privacy**
Jordan: I think kailangan muna kita
iwanan dito.
Ann: Yah. Thanks ah.
Jorda n left Ann with Noel.
Ann : Noel, wag ka mawala. Dati si
Marco,
ngay on ikaw. Wag naman o.
Ann hears footsteps from outside.
She turns around.
To her shock, she sees a y Marco
standing there by the door.
Ann screamed.
Ann lost her consciousness.
Wh en Ann woke up, she was lying down
on
a hospital bed.
Ann: Ano nangyari?
Jordan: Hinimatay ka.
Ann: Wow.
Jordan: Akala nga namin kung ano na
nangyari sayo e.
Ann: Yeah. But, I think ready na ako
umuwi.
Jor dan: Sige. Tawagin ko lang si doc.
Jord an leaves.
Blood y Marco appears in front of Ann.
Marc o: Masaya ka na?
Ann: Ano ba Marco?!
Marco: Kung hindi mo ako kaya mahalin,
wala ka nang ibang mamahalin pa!
Ann: Marco patay ka na!
Marco: Pati si Noel!
Ann: Wala kang kwenta!
Marco: (laughs)
Marco disappeared and Ann started
laughing like crazy.
When Jordan returned with the doctor,
they were both shocked to see Ann,
laughing, trying to hurt everyone she
sees.
Since then, Ann has lost her mind and
got checked in a mental hospital.
Ann has never stopped laughing ever
since.
Ma rco has never forgiven Ann for
finding
a new guy.
And Marco has promised that anyone who
finds out about his story will suffer
the same fate as Ann...
Scary noh? Hai. Ayoko ng ganun.. Ayoko maka experience na mamatayan ng taong mahal ko.. tapos dalaw pa? OMG!
Dito ako ngayon sa PS, nanggugulo sa mga tao dito. May foodtrip kasi kami ng dati kong kateam.. teehee!
{ music } Won't Go Home Without You by Maroon 5
{ mood } scared
Posted by kidbaliw
This happened yesterday here are the list of things which I did all day..
Afternon:
We ate at Barrio Fiesta.. I think I used 2 plates and 3 bowls in one sitting.. I smiled how my baby reacted when I gave the stuff toy I bought for him. It's just when I saw that toy it reminded me of the angelic face of my baby. Just look how much he had fallen in love with my gift.
Evening:
Siesta Fiesta (daw)
Me.Ronie Rose.Shewa.Ry.Maisie.Frances(Francis..haha!).Geoffrey.Sir Carlo.Arlan
In fairnes, kumpleto talaga kami.. May tier 1, hosting, vip, fax at supervisor.. Aliw lang diba? Ayun we ate 2 18 inches of pizzas and pasta.. Papareimberse daw namin yung money we spent.. haha! After that tumambay sa Starbucks.. Kwentuhan mode ng mga experiences ng mga ika nga tenured agents.. huwow! Aliw malaman yung mga kani kanilang kwento.. In fairness, bondat na bondat talaga ako nun.. We took pictures and kulitan galore lang..
Afterwards I went sa Malate.. Had a drinks in Bedrock at ang mga kanta.. paksyet! nakakarelate ako. I can't help but be nostalgic.. Naka ilang yosi nga ako nun! We talked about life, povs and experiences ko nung hs ako.. Sometimes naiisip ko na gusto ko sabihin sa kanya yung mga nangyari sa akin. I just mentioned like whenever people confide to me their problems, I can't help but feel whatever they're feeling.. Masama pa doon, affected talaga ako as in! Then a question asked, paano ko daw hinahandle yung problem ko.. I answered I just keep it to myself.. bakit daw? because I don't want people to feel whatever I'm feeling..
The past is repeating now. Pero this time ayoko na gawin yung mali which i did that made my life so miserable. Marami nawala sa akin nun! In fairness, I know how to handle things whenever andun ulit ako sa same situation na yun. Ang dami kong winoworry.. wala ako masabihan.. lagi ko nalang dinadaan sa isoy.. kaya ayun napa highblood si watashi.. hehe. I can't help but be problematic pero hindi ko lang inilalabas.. I may be happy and gay but this is the way how I conceal whatever I'm going through right now.. Nakisabay pa ang maulan na panahon sa labas ng king window.. Pero iniisip ko, it's like a test. Besides I realized my worth na and I know when its just lust or love.. I saw it na. Tama na ako doon.. I couldn't ask for more pa nga..
One thing for sure na talagang gagawin ko.. never ko na gagawin yung ginawa ko kina Imaw at Boyet..
You are so important to me and I won't let anybody.. anyone.. someone.. take you away from me.
Minsan ka na nawala sa akin..
Not this time.
{ music } unfaithful by rihanna & First Love by Utada Hikaru
{ mood } indescribable
Posted by kidbaliw
Last night the rain was pouring hard and as usual it make me nostalgic over things. It made me feel relaxed as I yearn for things and ponder how I live my life right now.
I even saw my ex when he visited me at my crib. We rode in his car and went to his place. I was surprised when he called me and he wanted to see me. Well I don't give a damn because we're good friends and even our mothers, they're cool. We had a little talks about our lives, he's already a father by the way. His wife didn't approached me when I was at their house. His brother whom I find cute.. still cute! haha! He installed some fun games in my dudung.. haha! I promised to him I'll lend him my music and lyrics..
Anyways back to my gloomy feeling.. After all these years that I had shut myself from ^, then I realized that ^ is so good that he gave me the one I believe is for me. For the first time in my maturity years, I have come to be thankful to him. But hey! Im not a religious girl.. It's just parang kahit anong sama sama ko, like a father he still care for me. He knows what I want and I need.. Like nga ng sabi ng bitch ko, it's all part of the plan.. everything happens for a reason..
Syet! I do have my shortcomings and very bratty talaga ako pero kagabi sobrang iba yung feeling ko. I was like another mighty change of heart.. Im making some keme that's one year to create.. nakow! sana naman no, magustuhan niya yun.. hmf! At least kung magkikita kami ni jayr, may masasabi na ako na ayan ha for keeps na ako.. kasi lakas niya mangasar sa akin kasi wala daw tumatagal sa akin.. I realized na hindi na ako bata para magfool around. ayoko na. pagod na ako lagi nalang level one ako. Yung tipong bigla kong narealized na ayoko mawala yung ano man meron ako ngayon. Imi so happy na talaga.. as in! Eto nanaman ako, baliw nanaman.. Hai naku ha, at least aware siya na I'm thankful kay ^ kasi he gave me what I had lost. woot!
consistency is the key.
{ music } how to touch a girl by jojo
{ mood } bouncy
Posted by kidbaliw
Nicey go on meeting..
Well we discussed my stats for the week (2nd week).. Still need to improve on my aht.. my goodness! Just 5 seconds off from my previous week.. hmm.. yet! Im so damn proud of myself! woot! My other stats are good.. it's just my aht will always be my problem.. ever since! I also earned 54 gold points.. teehee! Sabi ko nga, hmf! tsamba lang yun.. know what my sup said to me? anak, walang tsamba tsamba sa team ko.. whoa!
Eto pa.. Now wala na talaga ako problema.. as in like lahat na talaga in balance.. haiz! nakakatuwa.. galing galing! Yan I can now be worry free.. yippee!
As usual pms kemeler si watashi.. 
{ music } we belong by toni gonzaga
{ mood } refreshed
Posted by kidbaliw
One I worried was already straighten out.. Hoo! Akala ko hindi maayos yun.. Actually isa yun sa main reason why I was diagnosed with high bp. Grabe nakakailang isoy ako at it's like I'm already killing myself na noh.. Mabait.. Mabait.. mabait! ^
Pero noong asa byahe ako, as usual looking back ako sa mga hmmm past ko. Tapos I remember may isang incident na nagpaalala nung exaktong eksena noong September 2, 2005.. As in super parehas talaga.. pinagkaiba lang syempre iba yung kasama ko. Yan yung moment na kapag naririnig ko ang Wake Me Up When September Ends by Greenday talagang nagiiba ako.. hehe. Kung mababasa ninyo yung journal ko talaga.. malalaman ninyo why. o.O
In fairness ha, nakakailang keme na still it always go my way. Pero ang paranoia ko sobrang high.. Ayun yung isa sa sobrang high, nastressed out ako at yun nag kasakit. Hehe. Kagabi nga may naisip ako para iwas paranoia tiaka para naman maenjoy ko din yun no.. =P Hindi ko malilimutan that happened on January 10. Teehee! Sekretong malufet kong ano man yun.. haha! Basta aayusin ko na nga para hindi ako napapraning..
Yours truly,
...your sweetbiatch.
{ music } fill me in by craig david
{ mood } bouncy
Posted by kidbaliw
Hmm I was reading some blogs and a question popped in my mind kaya heto, isusulat ko siya.. adik!
Do guys also fall like get into serious one? Diba usually they just love to play along, flirt and fool around? Tapos if ever they get serious paano nila pinapakita? For me kasi guys are player by nature. Yung mga sweetness nila, anything that comes from them hindi umeepekto sa akin. Ice queen no? haha! Parang parating mindset ko is they're just good in the beginning pero keeping them is so hard to deal with.
Guys are also hard to decipher.
Marami rami na kasi nanggago sa buhay ko kaya siguro ganito ako. Ayan tuloy napaka laking wall na ang nakapalibot sa akin.
Can someone tell me how do guys deal with love? Napaka babaw pero yun ang question na wala akong mahanap na matinong sagot. I always ask that questions to my guy friends.. kulit lang. wala akong contentment sa mga sinasabi nila..
Paano din ba nila kinakalimutan or moving on to a love they also thought na it would last? Diba gawain ng guys are mag date na magdate? Hindi mo tuloy alam kung sineryoso ka kung makitakita mo sa daan may iba na kinakarir.
hai. ewan ko.. any comments?
{ music } she'e the one by robbie williams
{ mood } weird
Posted by kidbaliw
Share ko lang..
I went sa Baclaran (to my favorite hang out pag may emotional turmoil ako) and I lighten up candles there. I was eager to make my moment there kasi ako lang magisa doon.. Talagang napakasolemn at nakakatuwang magemote. I was like saying whispering my gratitude over life, I saw a white person pass by me. She's a girl actually but I never saw her face. I'm used to it anyway so keber..
At least noong nagpunta ako doon, hindi ako full of angst sa buhay. I was thankful kasi matapos lahat ng madugong chapter ng buhay ko eto na siya at I'm so feeling complete. Though I still have the galit factor sa mga parang connected sa taong yun.. but I don't let it ruin my day. Basta I have a happy feeling when I left my favorite place. I also did whispered my wish..
Pero I'm not expecting naman na good things will happen. Im a pessimist person kasi.. It's like it's better to not expect good things will happen para hindi ganun kabigat ang disappointment mo sa buhay.. right?
Namimiss ko na ang baby ko.. Ilang days na nung huli ko siya makita.. baby... baby.. baby.. gusto na kita i hug at ikiss!
ah miss you my baby! see you on my rd.. hehe!
{ music } linger by the cranberrries
Posted by kidbaliw
I love you
even if:
-magulo utak mo
-may vices ka
-parati mo ako pinapaiiyak
-hindi kami ayos ng mother mo
-you don't have fancy cars
-pala away ka
-you don't came from a rich family
-you had chosen me over your work
-sometimes i feel you take me for granted
and when you come back.. I'll still love your flaws perfectly.
*i was inspired sa nabasa ko somewhere about loving a person despite his/her shortcomings.
{ music } vacuum cleaner sa floor
{ mood } blank
Posted by kidbaliw
No one really know who am I..
I have a lot of personalities inside... it's like I'm sensui (ghost fighter character) playing in my own manga.
I just can't help it.. This is me. Naalala ko may nagsabi "nicey, ang labo mo! hindi kita maintindihan.. hirap hulihin ng ugali mo.." Tapos I also remember yung reply ko lang sa kanya.. "ganun talaga.."
Mahirap kasi feeling ko no one will ever understand what's going on inside my mind..
My insanity is just over flowing..
it never ends..
{ music } iris by googoo dolls
{ mood } bored
Posted by kidbaliw
Im here now sa work ko, weird nga at hindi ako sleepy or what not.. To think na ilang oras lang ang tulog ko.. Like 2 hours??
Well I just went out with my bitch's girlfriends.. Ladies night out ika nga. I was like tinatamad pa nga nun kasi umuulan before we left.. Pero since next week na ang alis ng bitch ko so I did her favor.. In fairness nag 'please' siya.. kaya keri lang.. haha!
San ba kami nag suot? Malate. Madalas na nga ako doon.. hehe. Kasi naman ang gusto ay mag bar hop sa Cavite or Laguna.. Hello? Mas maganda kaya mag night out in a city.. Right?! Ayun we went sa isang bar na pinuntahan namin.. Mejo nabored sila.. We just ate sisig at inom ng isang bucket ng strong ice san mig.. Ayos lang naman yung live band.. hmmm pwede na din..
Next stop: Padi's Point
Amputcha. Walang nag assist sa amin.. Yung mga tao parang mga sira ulo lang doon.. hehe! Hindi ko nga lam kung doon ko nawala yung baboy ko.. huhu.
Next stop: Havana kemeler
Pag pasok namin.. may nag assist naman sa amin.. kaya lang lumabas din kami kasi mukang pang matanda ang ambience.. hindi namin trip.
Hindi ko na matandaan yung exactong name ng mga bars na pinasok namin. Madami pa kasi yun.. wala lang nangungulit lang kami.. hehe.
Then we just walk and walk and walk.. Sabi ni jen, san cellphone? Like lahat kami nag wonder.. bakit? ano meron? We were on a sidewalk, tapos hala ang bruha biglang kumuha ng pictures namin apat.. kami naman ay nag pose.. aliw... haha!
Habang nag papalipas kami ng oras, ayun tamang pictures galore lang kami.. hehe! para kaming mga tourist lang.. Then we just decided na pumunta sa cowboy grill.. which was our last stop..
Cowboy's Grill
Well mga bratinella ever, ayun ningangarag namin yung mga crew doon.. Ayos naman.. noong una panay love song.. like what the?! may namiss tuloy ako. =P Then may couple na kano at isang cute na filipina.. They were kissing na in public habang sumasayaw at ang mga tao (syempre kasama ako doon) humihiyaw na.. hehe! Bait nga noon.. we get to know them, the guy is named juan (i don't know kung tama yung spelling, basta sabi ng girl niya 'like numero uno') and his fiance is named jean. Well juan paid our drinks.. ako? i just ordered cocktail drinks.. naka dalawa nga ako.. aside pa yun sa mga iniinom namin noong nauna pa at may naka pila pang barrel.. teehee!
Kulit nga doon, may group ng guys.. Mejo nag woworry kami kasi we're not sure kung sino ang tinitignan nila.. Ako kasi I was like enjoying the place.. Aba, mga siraulo lumapit na sa table namin.. Akala ko nga yung bitch ko ang tipo xe malakas appeal nun. hehe.. Biglang nag love song, aba nagulat ako at kinakalabit ako.. sabi ko.. bakit? ano meron? tapos walang sumasagot sa kanila.. Ganun pa din, panay nang kalabit.. mga hayop nga! Aawayin ko na sana kaso xempre good girl ako so yun.
In the long run, ginamit nila si juan para makasama sa table namin. Before sila lumipat nagpakilala sa akin, his name was.. ewan ko. hindi ko na nga matandaan.. hehe! ayun inom inom, mejo mabait kasi binibigyan niya at sinisindi niya sa akin ang yosi ko. hehe. Ayaw nga ako tigilan, sayaw daw kami.. sabi ko shyness ako.. duh?
Gago tong bitch ko, binenta ba naman ako.. ayun.. we dance. Ayos lang naman. dance lang naman.. no keme.. slow dancing and dirty dancing.. he was trying to lure me.. like kissing my neck pero inaasar ko lang siya.. muka niya! hindi ako yung easy no.. I can do some move pero next level? Excuse me?! Sabi niya bango ko daw.. ulol. He did tried to kiss me.. bahala siya! Hmm cutie naman siya.. pero like what I have said "papakabait na ako"
Then patapos na yung tambay namin sa cowboy, aba ang bitch ko nakabasag ng wine glass.. bayaran daw namin sabi ng crew doon.. xempre ang lola palaaway.. ayun nag karoon ng commotion.. hehe. As in inaway ko na yung manager doon. hmf!
Anyway, hindi ko malilimutan nung juan kissed me sa cheek. Appreciation kiss. Marami kasi kami napag usapan.. Mejo natuwa nga ako or natouch yung sa question niya "how much money will she need to be safe?" sabi ko nalang i can't tell kasi hindi kami close ni jean or i don't know her personally..
He wanted me to tell whatver my bitch and jean is talking about (e ang topic nila ay yung buhay kung paano gagagaguhin ang kano), I just told him 'girl thing'.. hehe..
Marami kaming napagusapan ni juan.. Parang naawa nga ako sa kanya kasi he spends money to strangers just to find happiness.. Although he had gave me also one of his paambon.. Kahit na.. I wish he will find his true happines.. panay nga labas ng pera sabi ko, hey! don't spend too much of your money.. he asked why? because you'll need that in the future.. he just smiled and said.. I'm fucked up..
Poor guy. Kakainis nga... namiss ko tuloy siya. Sana pala nag malate nalang kami noong nagkita kami noon when I tried to win him back. Well I have plans nga.. hmmmmm.. *evil grins
At least diba? I know how to enjoy my life with limits. Nakakatuwa.. Maybe I'll post the pictures kapag nag katime na ako mag upload ng mga pics.. haha!
Im pretty contented naman na sa buhay ko. Wala na talaga ako mahihiling pa.. hihi.
Bitch
- a lewd or immoral woman b: a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse
^para sa akin? Strong willed woman who doesn't scared of doing things beyond their capacity. Yun kami ni bitch.. We do what we believe is right and wala kaming keme. haha! Though we changed a lot in compare with our younger years.. (^^,
{ music } vacuum and abner talking to cx
{ mood } bouncy
Posted by kidbaliw
We watched this movie na siya naman ang may gusto talaga manood like nag punta na kami sa robinson tapos wala doon sabi niya, 'lipat tayo'.. para siyang bata talaga.. though carry lang special naman siya sa akin no! =P
Natawa ako kasi bad trip yung isang korean scene doon, walang sub title.. nag mumura na nga siya.. keso badtrip daw (hello? siya kaya nagpumilit na panoorin yun.. musta naman siya?) pero as the movie went on and on.. maganda din naman. nakakatuwa kasi kahit oldies na hmmm matindi ang powers ng mga kalaban.. talo pa yung high tech gadgets ng mga kano.. musta naman yun?
Naiyak nga ako (slight) noong pinatugtog yung Remember Me This Way.. Pinigilan ko nalang kasi hai nuknukan sa pang aasar yung kasama ko pag nakita niya ako sus.. walang tigil na ang asar noon.. Tapos noong pinatugtog din yung The Past.. I like what I heard from that person.. Let's reminisce.. Like a kid, he hugged me and put on his head on my lap.. parang baby nga! haha!
I was wrong when i hurt you
But did you have to hurt me too
Did you think revenge will make it better?
I don't care about the past
I just want our love to last
There's a way to bring us back together
I must forgive you
You must forgive me too
If we wanna try to put things back
The way they used to be
'cause there's no sense in going over and over
The same things as before
So let's not bring the past up anymore
We were like singing it na together.. Aliw.. With matching kulitan galore pa yun ha! haha!
Maybe there is a reason why things happen that way, i did cried a river and sobrang hai. Nakikita ko sarili ko sa kanya. My other half talaga.. natawa nga siya nung kinuwento ko yung college grad ko kung anong ginawa kong kabaliwan.. tawag nga sa kin yun 'praning' (not the usual filipino pronounciation.. mejo konyotik.. paano nahahawa na sa akin.. hehe. Ako nman natawa din sa shinare niya..
Favorite color daw niya ay black, white and green ata.. tapos madalas niyang suotin ay blue.. gulo diba? nawindang ako doon ha.. tawa nga kami ng tawa sa jeep noon.. parehong mga baliw.. haha!*next time ako naman ang taya
-sinabi mo yun ha! haha!
next movies to watch:
Mukang need ko na bumili ng portable dvd at mag movie marathon sa bahay.. woot! hehe! Mas tipid pa no? =)
{ music } If I aint got you by Alicia Keys
{ mood } cheerful
Posted by kidbaliw
My heart was hurt.
I don't want to commit myself into something that will repeat what had happened in the past.
Are you going to take care of my broken heart?
{ music } all I have to give by bsb
{ mood } blah
Posted by kidbaliw
I fell in love with this song.. eto pala yung narinig ko all along. hai.
Could Have Been (Frio)
[verse]If only I could turn back the time
When all the words we say
We can make it rhyme
I just can’t get you off my mind
I can only smile when you were mine
[refrain]
I’ve been waiting for you all night long
Gotta listen to your voice on the phone..
[chorus]
Could have been a perfect love
I’m still trying
I know you’ve lost your faith in me
Now I’m crying
I know I’ve been a such a fool
I’ve been blinded
Can we just get back to where we’ve started
‘Coz I miss your grip and I miss the way you kiss me
[repeat verse]
[repeat refrain]
[repeat chorus 2x]
I know it was my fault.. Though I know that it's how the story goes. Wish I can shout at you and punch you for hurting me so much. The angst I have inside my heart.. Showing fake smile to everybody so that they won't mind me.
I want you to know that I'll be yours beyond forever the way you wanted to be. I love you way beyond up above the stars..
Ow come on! x.X
{ music } could have been by frio
{ mood } irritated
Posted by kidbaliw
I had a chit chat with my sister before we slept last night. When we were younger we used to fight like 'super fight' but now as we grow older we became closer. She knows some of my secrets and I can tell to her about the highlights of my life right now.
Then I observed as I giggly tell her some of my ehem! hehe. It's nice to know that she's happy for me.. really! Would you believe na siya yung tinakbuhan ko noong I was in my darkest moments with ... Alam niya kasi 'almost' yung buong story ko.. paikot ikot na ako no? Wala lang. gusto ko lang ishare..
eto pa I was inspired again and I can feel the blood flowing through my veins.. inspired lang to write my thoughts:
what makes me fall for you
-whenever you call me (our code) in public >kahit na maraming tao =)
-the way you put my hand near to your heart, like you always do..
-you're a man not to take advantage of me whenever we are in movie house.
-you let me do my vices *clap! clap!
-remember when we got caught up in the rain? you took off your polo and you gave it to me?
-hearing the songs you sang reminds me of our previous past puts smile on my face
-a warfreak outside but whenever you're with me ahh... so baby inside. =P
-you share now your thoughts with me
-the way you take care of me.. sweeps me off my feet!
-they way we do cuddle fight *naks!
-no one can compare to the effort you had shown.. consistent!
-you complete me.
ayan. wala lang in contrast sa sinulat ko na naunang post. natatawa nga ako sa kasi para akong highschool na kinikilig whenever i share to my sister yung mag keme.. hehe! nagtatago talaga ako sa blanky ko tapos I giggle.. she just listen to me and i know that masaya na talaga siya for me dahil finally.. finally! pero may alam din siya na bigla ako nagworry..
paano nga kaya yun? x.X
{ music } love will show you everything by jennifer love hewitt
{ mood } cheerful
Posted by kidbaliw
...Macau?
This is what we had been fooling around with our sup.. ika nga inay jinggay. Paano she mentioned na she will treat us in Macau if we do our part for the team..
I had my meeting with my sup.. buti nalang at niligtas niya ako sa mapang asar na duo na sina shewa at ry. Ayaw kasi nila ako tantanan.. school bus daw? like heller?!
Anyways according to my stats as ever ang AHT at RPO will always be my problem. Which is totoo naman.. ewan ko ba at napadpad ako sa reach for the stars na yan.. naka tsamba lang talaga ako.. haha! So ano ba dapat kong gawin? Sa totoo lang it's my struggle talaga especially the AHT..
At least maintain lang ako sa QA ko. Ayaw nga maniwala ng sup ko na paranoia at may kaba factor everytime I open my QA scorecard.. Well hindi na talaga mawawala yun. Buti nga yung SA ko hmmmm nababalik ko na sa dati.. konti pa.. piso na ulit! haha! Ano pa ba? Well I hope hindi ako sa mga dahilan ng downfall ng team na sinalihan ko.
So far naman kasi I'm enjoying my work talaga.. Kahit na mahirap.. Stress.. Mga kausap mo indian, briton, chinese at mga insomiac na kano.. carry pa rin. Masaya naman kasi mga ka work ko..
In compare with gy mas trip ko na ang pang hapon. Like sa gy kasi halos lahat ng pwede mareklamo ng mga bwiset na kano maeexperience mo. At least sa hapon ayos naman.. mejo mild situation lang. Yun lang hirap talaga habulin ang stats..
Wala lang.. malapit na kasi ako umuwi.. mga 30 mins log out na ako. ang iikli nga ng mga calls ko..
nasobrahan ata ako sa pagiging straight forward. OMG!
^kinakabahan pa rin ako.. wala pa rin kasi ako balita.. syet!
I want answers now.
{ music } frozen by madonna
{ mood } anxious
Posted by kidbaliw
I went to a place that I was expecting to see someone after my shift.. To my dismay it felt like I was somehow betrayed (take note ha! it's a 'somehow') me. Maybe I was expecting too much kaya ayun..
Anyway I was informed na pang umaga pala siya not pang gabi.. On my way home, siguro kung makikita ng mga tao na I was really burning with fire na. I just kept my compusure kahit na may mga taong ngumingiti sa akin.. tablado sila sa akin! I never heard anything like any response from my texts all day. Nairita talaga ako noon.. Parang ano ang gusto niyang palabasin?
The morning came and finally I got a message. I read it early in the morning at dahil slightly na hurt ako ayun natulog nalang ulit ako. Hmm.. Siguro kung bata ako palalakihin ko yung issue.. Nag nilay nilay ako at wala naman katuturan yun diba? I'll ask nalang kung bakit ganun pero hindi ako mang aaway.. promise! =) At least diba I handled my anger properly.. I was imagining nga na andun siya sa bed ko tapos trying to say sorry tapos ako aasarin ko pa siya lalo.. pero joke lang yun! haha!
Yehey this is my last day sa work this week.. I'll have my three rd's at mahahybernate ako! Yung mom ko nga din kagabi lakas trip sa akin. We were like highschool and we're doing some flames kemeler stuff na yan.. She asked me sa mga complete names sabi ko ano yan? Basta daw.. Keso minana pa daw sa ninuno some sort.. nakakatawa mom ko.. Tapos she also tried my dad's name tapos tawa kami ng tawa! =)
Ano nga kaya mangyayari next no? I need definite answers pero syempre pa good girl ako! Naman! Wag kaya ako magparamdam no? Tapos bigla ko nalang siya ulit makikita sa room ko nakatayo, adik lang!
Yung sa story ng confession sessions kagabi.. hmmm nagandahan ako ha. (naka relate?) Meron din palang boys na do hold on sa past? Kulet! Like yung stuff toys and the remembrance from them.. Iniisip ko nga baka sinadya yun ng guy.. coz guys are natural boleros.. haha! At least they were back in each other's arms ulit. My sexy time pa!
I want to achieve what I want to do this month. Hopefully at the end of the month maayos ko yun.. Basta. Thank you sa commercial at nainspire ako to be one of them. haha!
{ music } could have been by frio
{ mood } annoyed
Posted by kidbaliw
Here are the pics we had nung nagmalate kami. haha!
Hmmm.. I was like skeptical lang. I don't know why pero there is something in me nanaman na umaariba ang woman's instinct. Eto ako ngayon, stay put lang sa haws. I just unwind and listen to good soothing music.. Last night I was really so pissed off.. Paano ba naman may usapan na 'time' tapos ayun.. Ayoko lang kasi may sinabi ka tapos hindi mo tutuparin diba? The hell! Ayun yung the way we communicate I was like in sweet pero sarcastically.. Though sige let's say may valid reason and I know and fully understand it. Pero sana diba sinabi nalang na baka hindi yung sigurado siya yet hindi naman talaga. HIndi naman kailangan magsinungaling diba??
Yung galit ko dinaan ko nalang sa mga kalaban ko as I play with my dudung. Iniisip ko na siya yun.. Lagi naman ako nananalo na.. Kung totoo lang yun bugbog sarado na siya sa akin.. haha!
Pero let's see mamaya.. Bawi daw siya. Ewan ko sa kanya! Akala niya makukuha ako sa mabilisang usapan? Huwag niyang ako gaguhin ha..
I don't get mad but i do always get even..
{ music } face down by red jumpsuit apparatus
{ mood } uncomfortable
Posted by kidbaliw
Im so pissed off.. Andun na e! Bad trip o! Kailangan ba talaga tumabi sa amin? La ka bang sense of pakiramdamness? Shutakels ka. Hai.Tagal din nun ha Kung umayos ka aba, mahaba habang sexy time yun..
I loved what I heard "bah parang nagshift lang ako ha" which I replied "at least nakaupo ka at ehem.. kasama mo baby mo.. diba?" Sabay cuddle.. oh yeah! hehe. Tuwa panigurado yung animal na yun hearing the song requested... all my life.. oha! oha! oha! Sayang. Kung hindi lang talaga.. haiz! Meron pa naman ako na discover that made me so... soo.. soooo... wow! Well I discovered it gusto ko siya din. Ako nga lang magisa natuwa na ako gusto ko dalwa kami.. Para masaya! Ayaw daw niya ako makita sumayaw baka maumay daw siya.. excuse me??! hindi lang niya alam.. hmf! hehe. Just between the two of us nalang yun. Maybe next time, in fairness siya nag turo sa akin na there is always a next time.
Sa sobrang inis ko sa sis ko at gusto ko mag yosi.. syet! hindi ako makalabas ng haws.. amputa and init! Sira kasi yung bala ko sa bahay.. haiz! poooff!
Ayan feeling of loneliness nanaman ako. Pero ayos lang. Napagdaanan na ang getting to know each other stage. Maraming napagdaanan na kung ano ano.. We're both cunning.. Ahaha! Gusto ko maging successful din sya para masaya diba? At least everytime na ikwento ko siya hindi na ako iiyak.. haha.. baliw talaga ako! Like my friend had told me, I can tell if it's lust or love.. Which is true. I feel so blessed.. O diba? La na ako tampo kay God? Galing no? Hmmm.. Alam na niya yun.. I will always be the same person you knew from the start.. I believe Im better person right now because of you..
Ayan baliw nanaman ako!
Sorry guys! I don't kiss and tell. Haha!
{ music } broken sonnet by hale
{ show } coffee prince
{ mood } irritated
Posted by kidbaliw
I got everybody's attention as I went to work. The glow really helped me... I think. I love the feeling though.. Now I'm in my work and I can't help but smile.. smile.. smile..
"keep on smiling so that the people around you will wonder what happened to you last night"
Next time try to recharge your chakra.. alright?
{ music } apologize by one republic and timbaland
{ show } coffee prince =)
{ mood } devious
Posted by kidbaliw
I wanted to know more about you, appreciate your flaws and love you without any hesitations. To my stupidity I don't know how to show my affection to you. I can't convey it through words..
This time I'll make sure to make my friend (high school friend) to be happy for me. Hopefully this time I won't spoil whatever I have right now. I can't help but be paranoia to him.. although kung tutuusin siya nga ang dapat uhm maging ganun? hehe. Ngayon I'm trying my best not to fall to the same trap (which happened to me way back pa) and besides ayoko na ulit pumunta sa abyss na walang hanggan..
Kaya nga Im so happy kasi hindi na ako balik sa square one. Ayoko na kasi. I'm so tired doing the cycle all over again. Life is full of weird hoops and turns. I never thought it could happen to me.. After all the heartaches and cherfers aba I think I deserve one real thing na diba?
I remember we had a team meeting kanina lang, the question asked was "what is love?"
I just answered that love can make us pathetically blindfools.
Ayoko na mag play around. Un lang.
It's okey to give another shot especially if the person is worth it.
{ music } goodbye my lover by james blunt
{ show } coffee prince =)
{ mood } hungry
Posted by kidbaliw
I don't let somebody own me.
I live my life the way I wanted it to be. Kung yung parents ko nga hindi nila ako masita.. iba pa kaya?! My folks do wonder kung kanino ko namana daw yung trait na yun. Recently lang I had an issue within my family aspect. As in like hello? I just listen to whatever I heard from them.. Tapos nalaman ko, aywa na daw ako kausapin keso ganun ganun..
Bad trip kasi kailangan ba talaga idamay ang religious aspect? Kung sila nga they had already broken whatever that was set on no. Besides noong dalaga sila hindi ko ginugulo buhay nila. It's just a pic.. Naalala ko she said, "you suppose to act the right attitude of being a member..." barado lang siya sa akin.. Palibhasa kasi hindi nila naranasan yung enjoyment na nararanasan ko ngayon..
Basta. No one owns me. Ayoko ng may sinusunod na kung ano ano.. it's crazy! We only live once.. we better enjoy what life has to offer.. Kaya nga ayoko muna ng other aspect e.. kasi papahinga muna ako.
Naalala ko nanaman yung incident noong sept 2.. ano ba yan.. i still can't forgive and forget that devil who ruined my life. Kapal kasi ng muka at tama bang magtago sa white veil? punyeta siya! Ewan ko ba, tapos parang naulit yung scene na yun at biglang nag dilim ang paningin ko and I pissed off the person na kasama ko. Mukang matagal bago mawala yung angst ko.. Though I'm not sulking myself with that feeling no. I still manage to enjoy my life as a single..
carefree and with no liimits.
I hate people who disguise themselves as the good samaritan yet.. they're devil no fuck assholes who are pervert enough and use god to decieve and ruin other's people life!
(This is a free flowing thoughts sa mind ko ngayon)
Sorry ha.. sa ngayon kasi nagagalit na ako while I'm at my station. Gusto ko siyang patayin.. I want my hands to be filled with his own blood. Wala siyang kwentang tao kasi sinira niya buhay ko. Mataas ang tingin ko sa kanya... sobra pang laki ng paghanga ko sa kanya. I knew him so well na akala ko perfect siya.. I don't know why I'm like this now.. nang gagalaiti ako sa galit ngayon.. gusto ko sumigaw.. magwala.. I hate him for causing me so much pain before. The least people I expected to hurt me this much.
People who smiles a lot has deeper problems inside.
{ music } list of songs by urbandub
{ mood } angry
Posted by kidbaliw
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