Here I am, listening to the music that I had uploaded in my playlist. Thanks to Don Domeng for the mp3’s available in our servers and I’m currently enjoying the avail time on my shift. It’s already in the middle of my shift and we were able to harvest all the admin works at the office. *chuckles* Joke!

Kidding aside..

As I silently looked past the bay on my way home, I somehow tried to remember some of the memories that I already burned away in my mind. I miss my childhood life, college friends, being a student (just trying to pass all the curriculum), being active in church and of course, the persons who had once touched my life.

I somehow pitied the person who asked me that pop question just recently. No, actually I pitied myself. Why? I know to the fact that I cannot afford to give love as much as I can like before.

Some were trying to induce me to love them as if I was never hurt. I admire those people who can truly love a person without using them as a rebound. Who keeps on accepting love with arms wide open.

I know to the fact that I am finally over with all the shits I had gone through recently. I’m proud to say that I was able to get him out of my system. For I do not have any urge to win him back like before . I’m no longer that pathetic who’s really crazy to a person who never saw my worth - like any ordinary girl who falls in love to any ordinary guy.

Sad to say that I used to be that stupid who got caught in her own emotions and was blinded by love.

I remember when Marcos asked me, “Bern, kailan mo ba balak lumgay na sa tahimik?”

I didn’t answer him because until now I still can’t provide any answer to myself, if I should be deciding to settle down or not.

As this line goes “There’s tons of fishes in the water, so the waters I will test“, I decided to go out and be the way how was I before. I mingle and date with other guys out there, enjoying the benefits of no strings attached rule.

I manipulate. I lie. I used lame excuses. So what?

Maybe somewhere along the way, I might meet the person who will take me away from the life I’m currently living. The one who will accept me at my worst or my best, which possesses long patience to change me and bring me home to where I belong.